Like 98 percent of black people, I am not a Donald Trump fan and wish he had never been elected. I think we should make that clear. I despise everything from his Vienna-sausage-sized fingers to his ethnic cleansing political agenda. But since
white people a majority of Caucasian voters selected him to be the commander in chief, I think of his presidency in the same way I think of the time my daughter begged me for a pet gerbil and tired of it after a few weeks.
And I think that, instead of doing what I did (I told her I’d return it to the pet store, but I just opened the cage in the backyard, where it was likely eaten by my dog, after which he came inside and threw up on the carpet, costing me $246.19 for a visit to the veterinarian, who told me, “He probably just ate something that upset his stomach”), America should have to keep our pet Trump for four years.
Here’s why we shouldn’t get rid of him:
1. White people will be furious.
Can you imagine how mad wypipo will be if we take down Nazi Elvis? Do you know how many “Make America Great Again” hats they’d have to throw away? Do you want to go to work with Kathy and hear how unfair it is that we allowed a Muslim to serve eight years, but a true Christian white man of God was taken down by the “deep state” liberal agenda?
And who’s gonna clean up all those brain remnants mixed with Pabst Blue Ribbon when Sean Hannity’s head explodes? How is America supposed to be great again without Trump? What are we supposed to tell our kids? (I don’t actually know what that means, but I know a staple of every white argument rests on what…
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